Re: I've finally lost hope - what do I do now?

From: Shawna French (frenchysha@yahoo.com)
Mon Sep 23 15:03:07 2002


Dear Michelle, I am so sorry to hear you have gone through soooo much, I too am on alot of meds and to lay in bed seems the best, non movement, when I went Louisiana my specialist did the best also and I was actually pain free for 8 months then wham back in bed I went, know this we do care about you and I will pray for pain free days for you! Any time you want to e-mail me feel free I am here to listen and remember I deeply care about your pain!! Shawna F. Michelle wrote: Hello all, I posted once before, but I must have picked a bad time - no one responded. At first I was hurt, but after reading more posts I have come to appreciate how generous you all are in sharing your caring, knowledge and your time even though you all are in pain and that you can't possibly answer every post! Before I begin my rambling self pitying story, I offer my sincere thanks for this forum & all who contribute. I too suffer from the relentless pain that so many of you speak of. I've had numerous pelvic/abdominal surgeries, tests, physical therapy, biofeedback, acupuncture, radiofrequency, nerve blocks - you name it! I take a ton of meds - DAILY dose = 18 Neurontin, 3 Gabitril, 3 Oxycontin, OxyIR as needed for breakthrough & 2 Wellbutrin - they help control the pain, but don't eliminate it. I am also homebound with very limited activity. I feel best when I lay flat & still, take all my meds & either eat nothing or very little. To make a long story short - I finally found you all and through this site and links found on this board, I have educated myself about ARD and RSD (CRPS). Throughout this whole nightmare I've remained hopeful that if I couldn't be completely pain free, I could at least find some way to control the pain enough to be reasonably "normal" again and maybe even go back to work (and play). My last surgery was with Drs Reich & Redan in Scranton, PA. These are fantastic doctors - particularly Dr. Reich. It took them just a few hours of surgery to perform a miracle! For the first time since this all began - I was TOTALLY pain free!!!!! Unfortunately it only lasted six days and then the pain came back in full force. So here I am - still laying on the sofa taking buckets of pills. I've been to the best and they did their best - I just wasn't one of the lucky ones. There's nothing left to hope or strive for and I can feel depression, anger and despair creeping in and I don't know how to stop it. What do I do now?

--
Michelle

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