-- > [Original Message] > From: Beth A. Morford <bmorf92@juno.com> > To: <etmss@aol.com>; <petertr@earthlink.com>; <shadered@hotmail.com>; <selpilot01@yahoo.com> > Date: 11/4/2002 9:06:41 PM > Subject: church football > > <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< > > CHURCH FOOTBALL > > Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation. > > Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship. > > Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many > choose to > leave. > > Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do > anything > but sit. > > Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water > fountain) > during the service. > > Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be > given > to the Lord's work. > > Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost > over > and begin to gather up your children and belongings. > > Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last > week's > illustrations. > > Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if > the > preacher goes "overtime". > > Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep. > > End Run - Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or > fellow member. > > Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the > sermon > to affect your life. > > Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return > for > the evening service or Bible study. > > Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the benediction. > > -- Author Unknown > > <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< > > To learn more about E-Mail Ministry and read previous messages, visit our > web > site at: http://www.emailministry.org > --- Timothy Peterson --- petertr@earthlink.net --- EarthLink: The #1 provider of the Real Internet. .