FW: church football

From: Kelly Murray (mkmurray@cyberport.com)
Fri Nov 8 23:34:46 2002


-------Original Message------- From: petertr@earthlink.net Date: Friday, November 08, 2002 09:13:54 PM To: Kelly&Mike Murray; Kennye Subject: FW: church football
--
> [Original Message]
> From: Beth A. Morford <bmorf92@juno.com>
> To: <etmss@aol.com>; <petertr@earthlink.com>; <shadered@hotmail.com>;
<selpilot01@yahoo.com>
> Date: 11/4/2002 9:06:41 PM
> Subject: church football
>
> <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< 
> 
> CHURCH FOOTBALL
> 
> Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
> 
> Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
> 
> Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many
> choose to 
> leave.
> 
> Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do
> anything 
> but sit.
> 
> Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water
> fountain) 
> during the service.
> 
> Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be
> given 
> to the Lord's work.
> 
> Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost
> over 
> and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
> 
> Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last
> week's 
> illustrations.
> 
> Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if
> the 
> preacher goes "overtime".
> 
> Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.
> 
> End Run - Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or 
> fellow member.
> 
> Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the
> sermon 
> to affect your life.
> 
> Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return
> for 
> the evening service or Bible study.
> 
> Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.
> 
> -- Author Unknown
> 
> <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< 
> 
> To learn more about E-Mail Ministry and read previous messages, visit our
> web 
> site at: http://www.emailministry.org
> 

--- Timothy Peterson
--- petertr@earthlink.net
--- EarthLink: The #1 provider of the Real Internet.

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