Millie,
It is hard NOT to have a bad feeling about things when you are sick. I will
never forget the look on my poor daughter's face when she was 13. After a
year of her being so ill and we had finally been sent to a pediatric
gastro--the doctor asked to speak to me and my husband alone and a nurse
took Melissa out to the waiting room. He told us she had Crohn's--we had
never heard of it---anyway, when we walked out, Melissa was staring at us
coming through the door. She looked so petrified---I thought later, she must
have thought she had cancer and was fixing to die--she was physically ill
from the WORRY!! I beat myself up over that incident for a long time---and
the doctor SHOULD have had her in there and explained it to HER!!
We had been a family that rarely went to the doctor, and I always thought
doctors were so upstanding, smart, professional and you just don't question
a doctor! Boy!! Did that change in hurry!!! The next day I was at the
library getting books on Crohn's. On her next visit I had a list of
questions. The main one: Did granuloma's show up in her biopsies?? (They
didn't)........I gradually learned that they are mere human, just like us,
except they went to school to be a doctor. We have been to two doctors that
have actually said, "You know, I hate to admit it, but you know more
medically than I do about this." At least they admitted they had no answers
for us. Before this ordeal with Melissa, when our son was 17, he and an
accident and ended up in Cook Children's Hospital. Each day he seemed to
worsen (to me). They kept pumping IV fluids through him and just kept him so
sedated. (He had a ruptured spleen and had a lacerated kidney). One day, two
days, three days, four days passed.....each day the "doctor" came by. On the
fifth day the woman next to my son's room ask me how he was and I told her I
thought he was worse, but the doctor said he is okay. She came in and said,
You know, I think he looks worse."
When the nurse came in to give him more sedative, I said, "NO!" "No more, I
am ready to be able to talk to him." She left. My son would not come out of
it. Hours passed. I was looking at him and started noticing his fingers were
blue (he was being checked by "nurses" every hour). I went to the front desk
and told the nurse. She began walking real fast to his room. Then the
yelling over the intercom started. It was horrifying! He had lost most of
the oxygen to his brain and his lungs were filling with fluid. He ended up
in ICU for 7 days on a lung machine. Thank God he got well, but that
incident taught me to STAY at my loved ones side and be their advocate!! I
know this story was too long---but Millie speak up, ask what YOU want to
ask!! I always tell my daughter if we feel bad about ANYTHING, even before
an operation--we will damn sure walk out if our guts don't feel right! She
is confident that I will fight a buzz saw before I will allow ANYTHING to
happen that we don't feel right about. She has been through TOO much!!
Remember, this is their JOB, but your LIFE! We have a construction company
and I sure don't treat our customers rudely when they ask a question--NO
nurse, doctor, technician, etc. should be anything but to the patient. If
they aren't demand a new one! Melissa went in a few years ago for a brain
scan. They did part of it, then the tech pulled an IV pole over toward her.
She was looking at me thro the glass and I could see she was asking the tech
something. He turned around and looked at me with a stern, frustrated look.
I just opened the door and asked what was wrong and he said, "This dye has
to go thro her veins to finish the test." Melissa said, "mom, did the doctor
tell you this would be part of the test?" I said, "No, he sure didn't"...she
said to the tech, "He explained everything to us, but did not tell us about
this." the tech got MAD and said, "Well, I'm telling you!" At this point I
stepped in and said, "She isn't having a procedure that was not explained to
us!"
Later at the doctor's office he apologized that he did indeed failed to add
that part of the test in his explanation.
Go in with full faith, hope, peace and joy Millie. God knows YOU. He has
carved your name on the palm of his HAND--that is how special you are. We
don't know why we go thro the suffering, but replace your negative thoughts
with positive ones!! Get you some headphones and listen to uplifting tapes,
music or talking and don't let anyone have you do something you don't
understand or you aren't comfortable with. Be at PEACE with YOU! Godspeed!
Karen