Hi..it's Heidi Jo again. Regarding my doc visit on Mon.
From: Heidi Jo (hjjones@swbell.net)
Sat Apr 5 08:04:39 2003
Wow. You all have me in tears. First I would like to thank everyone
who responded to me. Thank you so much. I never thought I would get a
response like that. Okay. Here is what's going on. Friday, dispite
all my pain, I went to my neuro dr. and asked for my medical
records...who knows if they gave me everything, I doubt it, but I got
most of it I think. Then I picked up my knee MRI from the diag office.
Went to my attorneys office and picked up the police report that shows
the accident I was in. It also has the old doctor I went to report in
it and shows that I was taking Talacen narc. from two doctors. The car
accident doctor has notes stating she discontinued the medication. What
happened there was I was seeing a really shaddy physo dr for the death
of my father. He was giving me Xanax, Paxil, Clonazpam, and Talacan.
When I would go to his office he would ask me if I needed more meds and
I would say yes and I would get refills. Then we would talk about his
problems, his divorce, his adopted son, etc. He also wanted me to be
his secretary. I figured if I said no then he wouldn't give me the meds
anymore. He had me ADDICTED. Anyway, I went to see him for an
appointment in Jan 02 and he had packed up his office and left town.
Changed his number. Haven't heard from the SOB since. So there I was,
in pain, confusion and no medication any longer. I checked myself into
rehab and tried to get off of the meds. Got off of everything
successfully except the Talacen narc. Or Talwin to other people. Went
through serious withdrawl. Marriage problems occured then. My husband
is also abusive. I know, way too much to believe but I swear this is
all true. Why would I sit here in pain to make it all up? My husband
kicked me and my daughter out of the house. He couldn't deal with my
problems any longer. I stopped my therapy for the accident....big
mistake....but had no way to get there. I was ashamed. I felt like a
drug addict and my husband kicked me out of the house. My daughter and
I stayed at a friends house for a roof over our heads. I had to change
her school. I would go to several doctors for medication for my pain.
They understood I was in serious pain but I just don't understand why
giving me 30 vicodin would magically make the pain go away forever??? On
Dec 28, 02 I was assaulted by my husband for THE LAST TIME. He was
arrested and now the DA's office has charges on him. I went to the ER.
They of course gave me more vicodin for the pain. Went to family
doctor. She took xrays of my injuries. They found that I had an old
fracture to my left clavical...car accident maybe? I really don't care
where these injuries are from now...just get me out of the pain! She
gave me Vicodin. My endo flared up and now I need surgery. Having
surgery 4/10/03. I'm assuming more Vicodin? Ccan you tell I am so
flippin tired of this??? I don't want to take Vicodin and rely of it.
However, I don't want to be in pain. Why should I have to live in pain?
My father is proof that some people can't handle it. I would NEVER do
that to myself. To my children. But how do I live this kind of life?
How do I get a doctor to believe that I am not out looking for more
medication....I am out looking for a way to life a pain free life....are
pretty damn close to one. I know some of you will read this and
probably not get through the entire letter because it does sound too
hard to believe. That is okay because not everyone can understand this.
But I know that there is someone out there who can help me. Please come
and find me....I am looking so hard for you!
I go to this new pain doctor on Monday afternoon. I need to first find
child care for my daughter because I do not want ANY distractions. I
have all my medical files from my Family Prac doc and my neurologist and
my MRI and my xrays. Can I pick and choose what files to keep in
there?? Because that pain doc that I was seeing that said if I didn't
have a bone sticking out of my neck has notes in there that say I
shouldn't be on any narc for pain. Oh, I also had a ortho doc tell me
that since my collar bone hurts, just slip that seatbelt under your
arm....you'll be okay. GIVE ME A FLIPPIN BREAK! Was I on candid camera
or something crazy like that???
I just don't want to go in to this new pain doc and have him pick up a
vibe from me like I am desperate....but "hello" I sort of am! I am
desperate for someone to help me...someone to believe me.
To answer some of your questions. Yes I am on Zoloft 100mg at
bedtime...does it help? No, I don't think so but getting off of it is
HORRIFYING. I also take 5mg of Sonota...does it help? Yes, but I wake
up every morning at 4am when it wears off and I can't get back to sleep.
I also take Vicodin for the pain, however, that should stop any day now
until I cut off my arm or fall down a cliff.
I need to see someone for depression. I need to see ONE doctor for the
pain meds. I am willing to travel across the world to get this help.
Pay any amount of money too. I just want my life back...is that so much
to ask for?
Better go now.
Thank you all so much.
--
Heidi Jo
--
Heidi