At Sat, 5 Apr 2003, Heidi Jo wrote:
>
>Not sure if this posted before.....
>
>Wow. You all have me in tears. First I would like to thank everyone
>who responded to me. Thank you so much. I never thought I would get a
>response like that. Okay. Here is what's going on. Friday, dispite
>all my pain, I went to my neuro dr. and asked for my medical
>records...who knows if they gave me everything, I doubt it, but I got
>most of it I think. Then I picked up my knee MRI from the diag office.
>Went to my attorneys office and picked up the police report that shows
>the accident I was in. It also has the old doctor I went to report in
>it and shows that I was taking Talacen narc. from two doctors. The car
>accident doctor has notes stating she discontinued the medication. What
>happened there was I was seeing a really shaddy physo dr for the death
>of my father. He was giving me Xanax, Paxil, Clonazpam, and Talacan.
>When I would go to his office he would ask me if I needed more meds and
>I would say yes and I would get refills. Then we would talk about his
>problems, his divorce, his adopted son, etc. He also wanted me to be
>his secretary. I figured if I said no then he wouldn't give me the meds
>anymore. He had me ADDICTED. Anyway, I went to see him for an
>appointment in Jan 02 and he had packed up his office and left town.
>Changed his number. Haven't heard from the SOB since. So there I was,
>in pain, confusion and no medication any longer. I checked myself into
>rehab and tried to get off of the meds. Got off of everything
>successfully except the Talacen narc. Or Talwin to other people. Went
>through serious withdrawl. Marriage problems occured then. My husband
>is also abusive. I know, way too much to believe but I swear this is
>all true. Why would I sit here in pain to make it all up? My husband
>kicked me and my daughter out of the house. He couldn't deal with my
>problems any longer. I stopped my therapy for the accident....big
>mistake....but had no way to get there. I was ashamed. I felt like a
>drug addict and my husband kicked me out of the house. My daughter and
>I stayed at a friends house for a roof over our heads. I had to change
>her school. I would go to several doctors for medication for my pain.
>They understood I was in serious pain but I just don't understand why
>giving me 30 vicodin would magically make the pain go away forever??? On
>Dec 28, 02 I was assaulted by my husband for THE LAST TIME. He was
>arrested and now the DA's office has charges on him. I went to the ER.
>They of course gave me more vicodin for the pain. Went to family
>doctor. She took xrays of my injuries. They found that I had an old
>fracture to my left clavical...car accident maybe? I really don't care
>where these injuries are from now...just get me out of the pain! She
>gave me Vicodin. My endo flared up and now I need surgery. Having
>surgery 4/10/03. I'm assuming more Vicodin? Ccan you tell I am so
>flippin tired of this??? I don't want to take Vicodin and rely of it.
>However, I don't want to be in pain. Why should I have to live in pain?
>My father is proof that some people can't handle it. I would NEVER do
>that to myself. To my children. But how do I live this kind of life?
>How do I get a doctor to believe that I am not out looking for more
>medication....I am out looking for a way to life a pain free life....are
>pretty damn close to one. I know some of you will read this and
>probably not get through the entire letter because it does sound too
>hard to believe. That is okay because not everyone can understand this.
>But I know that there is someone out there who can help me. Please come
>and find me....I am looking so hard for you!
>I go to this new pain doctor on Monday afternoon. I need to first find
>child care for my daughter because I do not want ANY distractions. I
>have all my medical files from my Family Prac doc and my neurologist and
>my MRI and my xrays. Can I pick and choose what files to keep in
>there?? Because that pain doc that I was seeing that said if I didn't
>have a bone sticking out of my neck has notes in there that say I
>shouldn't be on any narc for pain. Oh, I also had a ortho doc tell me
>that since my collar bone hurts, just slip that seatbelt under your
>arm....you'll be okay. GIVE ME A FLIPPIN BREAK! Was I on candid camera
>or something crazy like that???
>
>I just don't want to go in to this new pain doc and have him pick up a
>vibe from me like I am desperate....but "hello" I sort of am! I am
>desperate for someone to help me...someone to believe me.
>
>To answer some of your questions. Yes I am on Zoloft 100mg at
>bedtime...does it help? No, I don't think so but getting off of it is
>HORRIFYING. I also take 5mg of Sonota...does it help? Yes, but I wake
>up every morning at 4am when it wears off and I can't get back to sleep.
>I also take Vicodin for the pain, however, that should stop any day now
>until I cut off my arm or fall down a cliff.
>
>I need to see someone for depression. I need to see ONE doctor for the
>pain meds. I am willing to travel across the world to get this help.
>Pay any amount of money too. I just want my life back...is that so much
>to ask for?
>
>Better go now.
>
>Thank you all so much.
>
>--
>Heidi Jo
>
>--
>Heidi
>