Re: Annemarie, Where are You?
From: AnnMarie (sweetlilqt913@aol.com)
Sun Jun 22 00:04:13 2003
I'm not sure if you were asking aout me or if there is another AnnMarie
here.
well if it was me, thank you very much for askin about me. I still come
on the site every night, I just havent posted a message in a while,
because I have been so sad and upset lately. I have just been thinking
about how I had so many dreams and high expactaions for myself, and
wondering if they are ever gonna come true. Since I was four I wanted
to be a nurse so I can help people.But I figure how in the world am I
ever going to be able to help people if I cant even help myself and need
to take medication . I'm not even sure how long I have had adhesions,
since I had my first abdominal surgery when I was 5 weeks old,for my vp
shunt and had a few more from then untill I was in 5th grade the after
that all heck broke loose.I had tons of surgeries on my shunt and since
7th,grade have had many gyno surgeries with a total of 23 surgeries.and
my mom
told me I always complained "my belly hurt." and up untill last year I
had alot of pain which was told was from "massive adhesions " that
"adheared everythin to everything, and there wasnt a single organ in my
pelvis that was free. after having 4 surgeries in 2 months because
everytime I had surgery on my shunt they would close me up and the
abdominal incsion would got infected all over agian, and that was july
of last year (2002)with the longest hospital stay being 37 days, plus
going home on IV meds for 2 months after. So my first summer after
graduatin high school(I graduated june 7th 2002) i spent in the hospital
and at home hooked up to an IV. So I expected to start my way on my
dream to be a nurse this summer and start taking summer classes little
did I know that starting last december the pain I used to have alot
turned into every day horrible pain that I need to take medication for,
and because I have had so many meds from past surgeries and havea very
high tolerence to them, nothing seems to work, well. I'm on 40mg of oxy
contin and max of 2 a day of oxycodone IR for breakthrough pain, and i
still get ons of break through pain and can never sleep. the meds dont
make me sleepy at all.I'm also on 50 mg of zoloft for anxity and i was
on 300 mg of neurontin but it made my legs hurt so bad and made my hands
tingle and go numb, so i only take 100 sometimes 200 mgs o it now.I just
feel like I'm never gonna be a normal person nevermind a norma 19 yr.
old. and eveything I've always wanted t do is never going to happen. As
far as gettin my pcp to give my insurence permission so they will cover
it for me to go to PA to have surgery with D.r Gerhart and hopfully Dr
reich too, I am getting so fusterated. I dont know what else I can say
or do to get him to let me go. I havent even made my next follow up
appt.to talk abou my meds untill I get to the pain clinic july 11th
cause I'm afriad when I go he wil ask me how the meds r workin and when
I tell him i still have alot of break thru pain he will get mad and just
takeme off all the meds, and then i will have nothing. I dont know my
next appt, I am going to take my mom with me since she canbepersistant
when she needs to be. I just wish he's realize that I want to live a
normallife someda and make all my dreams come true while I still can and
have a family somday. I know i've said this before but I'm sorry to cme
on here and complain and write a long boring book. I just dont know hat
else to d anymore, I'm so so sad and fusterated an upset, I have been
talking with Dawn ose and she helps SOOOO much, just by being there, and
se actually got me info n a uro/gyno that i am going to go see after i
go to the pain clinic, but she has her own life,and is going thru some
things right now and I feel bad bothering her with mine. Well I guess I
will stop boring everyone and complaing ad go lay in bed and not fall
asleep ( haha) I hope everyone is doind alot better them I am and I wish
everyone pain free days ahead.
At Sat, 21 Jun 2003, Sally Grigg wrote:
>
>Dear Annemaire, How are you doing? Did you post and I missed it?
>I hope you're okay. Sometimes I get busy, though I try to check the IAS
>Board everyday, sometimes I don't always succeed. Anyway, thinking of
>you.
>Love, Sally Grigg