>I'm not sure if you were asking aout me or if there is another AnnMarie
>here.
>well if it was me, thank you very much for askin about me. I still come
>on the site every night, I just havent posted a message in a while,
>because I have been so sad and upset lately. I have just been thinking
>about how I had so many dreams and high expactaions for myself, and
>wondering if they are ever gonna come true. Since I was four I wanted
>to be a nurse so I can help people.But I figure how in the world am I
>ever going to be able to help people if I cant even help myself and need
>to take medication . I'm not even sure how long I have had adhesions,
>since I had my first abdominal surgery when I was 5 weeks old,for my vp
>shunt and had a few more from then untill I was in 5th grade the after
>that all heck broke loose.I had tons of surgeries on my shunt and since
>7th,grade have had many gyno surgeries with a total of 23 surgeries.and
>my mom
>told me I always complained "my belly hurt." and up untill last year I
>had alot of pain which was told was from "massive adhesions " that
>"adheared everythin to everything, and there wasnt a single organ in my
>pelvis that was free. after having 4 surgeries in 2 months because
>everytime I had surgery on my shunt they would close me up and the
>abdominal incsion would got infected all over agian, and that was july
>of last year (2002)with the longest hospital stay being 37 days, plus
>going home on IV meds for 2 months after. So my first summer after
>graduatin high school(I graduated june 7th 2002) i spent in the hospital
>and at home hooked up to an IV. So I expected to start my way on my
>dream to be a nurse this summer and start taking summer classes little
>did I know that starting last december the pain I used to have alot
>turned into every day horrible pain that I need to take medication for,
>and because I have had so many meds from past surgeries and havea very
>high tolerence to them, nothing seems to work, well. I'm on 40mg of oxy
>contin and max of 2 a day of oxycodone IR for breakthrough pain, and i
>still get ons of break through pain and can never sleep. the meds dont
>make me sleepy at all.I'm also on 50 mg of zoloft for anxity and i was
>on 300 mg of neurontin but it made my legs hurt so bad and made my hands
>tingle and go numb, so i only take 100 sometimes 200 mgs o it now.I just
>feel like I'm never gonna be a normal person nevermind a norma 19 yr.
>old. and eveything I've always wanted t do is never going to happen. As
>far as gettin my pcp to give my insurence permission so they will cover
>it for me to go to PA to have surgery with D.r Gerhart and hopfully Dr
>reich too, I am getting so fusterated. I dont know what else I can say
>or do to get him to let me go. I havent even made my next follow up
>appt.to talk abou my meds untill I get to the pain clinic july 11th
>cause I'm afriad when I go he wil ask me how the meds r workin and when
>I tell him i still have alot of break thru pain he will get mad and just
>takeme off all the meds, and then i will have nothing. I dont know my
>next appt, I am going to take my mom with me since she canbepersistant
>when she needs to be. I just wish he's realize that I want to live a
>normallife someda and make all my dreams come true while I still can and
>have a family somday. I know i've said this before but I'm sorry to cme
>on here and complain and write a long boring book. I just dont know hat
>else to d anymore, I'm so so sad and fusterated an upset, I have been
>talking with Dawn ose and she helps SOOOO much, just by being there, and
>se actually got me info n a uro/gyno that i am going to go see after i
>go to the pain clinic, but she has her own life,and is going thru some
>things right now and I feel bad bothering her with mine. Well I guess I
>will stop boring everyone and complaing ad go lay in bed and not fall
>asleep ( haha) I hope everyone is doind alot better them I am and I wish
>everyone pain free days ahead.
>
>At Sat, 21 Jun 2003, Sally Grigg wrote:
>>
>>Dear Annemaire, How are you doing? Did you post and I missed it?
>>I hope you're okay. Sometimes I get busy, though I try to check the IAS
>>Board everyday, sometimes I don't always succeed. Anyway, thinking of
>>you.
>>Love, Sally Grigg
>