-- Kristie extrafeetmomAt Tue, 8 Jul 2003, Lynn Creacy wrote: > >At Mon, 7 Jul 2003, Karla wrote: >> >>As you know, I haven't been on the board lately because of my condition >>and constant hospitalizations. I have recently spent 3 weeks out of the >>month of June in the hospital and have spent the last couple of days >>trying to read through postings that I have missed. Do you want to know >>what I have gotten out of all of it? Anger! >> >>I must first say that this is not meant to be directed towards anyone. >>It is just my pain and frustrations reaching out. I apologize to anyone >>that this offends. But I have to get this out.... >> >>Why am I angry? Because, first of all there seems to be so little >>compassion left on this board and secondly, because it makes me sooooo >>angry right now to hear people going for more surgery, the arguments >>about the doctors in Germany...and to be perfectly honest, the >>complaining about the problems that adhesions cause. (Please know that >>I am not saying that you shouldn't do this.....you need to, but I just >>have reached a point where I can't deal with it) My thoughts are "do >>something about it"! Educate yourself, make wise choices, but do >>something about it or keep quiet. And I don't mean that..but I feel it >>right now. >> >>I am in a very hopeless state right now. I don't want to hear about >>everyone's aches and pains, because right now I wish that was all I had >>to complain about. Yes, I am very depressed. There are NO answers for >>me. Once more my doctors are reaching out to send me to UCLA, but they >>pretty much know that it is just a shot in the dark. Something to try >>and give me hope. They also know that the end is not far. They are now >>seriously talking about kidney removal...as a measure to extend my life >>a little bit. But, they really don't know why I am having the serious >>problems that I am. I have been to Mayo, University of Wisconsin, Lahey >>Clinic in Boston, Johns Hopkins and the University of Chicago. None of >>them had answers. All of them say I am dying. While I haven't gone out >>to UCLA, I feel that they are just searching for answers because they >>can't accept their being unable to do anything. I don't know that I >>want to go! In fact, I know that I don't, but for my family, I will. >> >>I have been overweight since I gave birth to my daughter in >>1978....morbidly obese for the past ten years or so. But, since January >>I have lost close to 100 pounds doing nothing. I feel like I am wasting >>away and my doctors are also concerned. I still have about 30 pounds to >>go before I would be at average weight, but having lost 20 pounds during >>the last two weeks, I could reach that point in a month or so. Each day >>it is a fight to get out of bed, go to the hospital for treatments only >>to return home to bed again. I do get out, but I don't have energy for >>anything anymore. This past weekend of course was the fourth of July. A >>group that I used to belong to needed some help at the community >>celebration and I thought that having done it for years I could just >>fill in for a hour or two. After about ten minutes I realized that I >>couldn't. Couldn't do things that a few years ago were my life! That >>makes me ANGRY! I cried! >> >>This whole week has been nothing but crying. I feel time slipping. I >>am still mourning the loss of my grandson two years ago, but now the >>grief goes to losing my daughter, two granddaughters and grandson who >>truly are my life. I enjoy each minute that I spend with them and I >>can't imagine leaving them. >> >>Then I come here and read about people with pain and I want to reach out >>and help them. To welcome them, give them advise and pray that they >>make the right decisions. But I get angry, because its just pain. I >>wish that my life was just pain. When I think about the years when I >>complained about pain I yearn for them back. >> >>So, when I talk about my anger please know that I am not saying that you >>shouldn't come here and complain! Please do! It is your sounding board. >>Listen to each other and have compassion for one another, but most >>importantly educate each other. We all have busy lives, but please >>don't stop listening to those who suffer with you. Please don't say you >>don't have time for this group anymore, because you just might miss that >>one person who really needs to hear what you have to say. Please don't >>not participate because you don't like what has been said or how it is >>being said. Dig deep and become a bigger and better person and stay and >>help those who come to this group every day searching for answers. >>Remember that day when you went searching? You either couldn't find >>anything because it didn't exist at the time, or you lacked the >>knowledge that those do who join us each day. If you help one person in >>this group, it is all worth it. If you can help more, God Bless You! >> >>Ok, I have had my pity party. Please hear what I am saying! >> >>God Bless >> >>-- >>Karla > >Karla, >I do not post but I had to when I read your note. Please know that my >prayers are with you and your family. > >Lynn >> >-- >A new friend >
-- Let's be good to ourselves....Kristie