I so know how you are feeling<3..I, too, have felt the same identical way..Adhesions are just that (according to everyone else) adhesions. Family can not understand the effects of that seemingly little word means and/or the debilitating pain which comes along with the adhesions. I have had the same things you mentioned said to me too. It is so devastating when our family doesnt/cant understand what it is we go through each and everyday. The word Adhesions sounds so innocent and simple to everyone else. Even the medical community treats adesions as if it is no big deal - just a bit of a tummy ache IBD, and some intestinal gas..
My heart goes out to you and I do know how you feel. There is nothing worse than dealing with adhesions (as far as I am concerned)with the exception of the isolation I feel with a disease which gains little sympathy from others. I have come to accept others responses due to the fact I have finally realized that is is difficult for someone else to have empathy for us when they have never experienced adhesions. I honestly would probably respond the same way had I not have gone through this horrid nightmare called adhesions.
This last go around I had I was literally bed ridden and could not eat. My precious Mother would come and visit me every month and cook and bring me meals which meant so much to me. However, she would make the comment "well, at least you do not have cancer." Bless her heart, I realized then that I will never be able to convince and explain to my family how debilitating adhesions and/or except them to understand something they have never experienced before.
In my mind, I felt like I might as well have had cancer because I was so very sick, weak, bed ridden, dropping lots of weight, and couldnt eat. I remember getting so depressed that I thought at least if I had a diagnosis of cancer I would know an approximate time that my pain and misery would end. During that time I felt adhesions were worse in that there is no 'time limit' on our suffering and no way of knowing just how long we will be in our situation. Also, there is no 'treatment' for adhesions.
My advice to you is hang in there and know your family does love you very much and try to put yourself in their shoes with regard to them understanding and relating to your condition. Many people can not understand what they themeselves have not experienced. This is point I had to come to so my families comments were not as hurtful in order to deal with it. Also, talk with your doctor about your depression as well as your chronic pain. Try the best you can to get your pain managed and possibly get on an anti-depressent. I have also found that taking anti-anxiety medicine helps me as well.
Chronic pain definately causes depression and can leave you feeling so alone and isolated, especially where adhesions are concerned. I also would remind myself (when it got really bad) that there is someone who has it worse. However, most times this would not make me feel any better about my situation. Suffering is suffering and it makes it really difficult dealing with adhesions because there is so little help available to us. Please know you are not alone and there are people who really do understand what you are going through.
>I am now in pain again & it is soooo depressing. I know this is normal
>for me, but every time the pain starts getting worse I get into a
>depression. I hate dealing with this alone. I also hate hearing how
>everyone else has it worse off than me & why should I be depressed. I
>love that answer the best. Those people who don't understand why I am
>getting depressed about it, people who have no idea what pain is, keep
>telling me how lucky I am that my son is healthy & that I have a job &
>that I am alive & that I am luckier than most because I have nothing
>life threatening. >Sorry for venting, but I just needed to.
>
>Rach