Re: affecting my marriage...over
From: toni welsh (twelsh1@webtv.com)
Tue Nov 9 06:45:26 1999
At Mon, 08 Nov 1999, Tina Shelby wrote:
>
>Toni,
>
>I just wanted to drop you a line of support and encouragement. I am just now
>catching up on all my e-mails because my computer hard drive died and it has
>taken me 2 weeks to get it up and running again.
>
>I am not sure that I can say anything to help your situation - but I want to
>try. Based on your previous posts - I get the impression that you get very
>little - if any support from your family. Toni - you have enough to deal
>with - you need family support from loved ones now more than ever.
>
>I was glad to hear that you are seeing a counselor. The one I saw helped me
>to deal with my husband's lack of understanding of what I have to go through
>on a daily basis. I hope your counseler can help you as well. I can honestly
>say - my husband has come along way in understanding and having compassion
>during my worst days. But there are still times when I have to tell him that
>I truely wish that I could make him experience what I feel for just one hour
>- and then see if he would still try to make this all out like I got in a
>line somewhere and asked for this!
>
>Just know - you have support and understanding here. Stand your ground with
>your loved ones - let them know you need their support now - not their
>cruelness - you can get that anywhere.
>
>Hang in there and know I am praying for you and your situation.
>
>Tina
>
>At 07:55 AM 10/28/99 -0500, you wrote:
>>I hate to write to any of you this morning, but I have no where to turn
>>now. My 18 yera anniversary is Saturday, and or relation ship is
>>falling apart fsat. I do not think I can deal with this day alone,
>>after a awful night last night. I have cried so much, when I got up I
>>could not open my eyes, they were not this swollen since grandma died in
>>June.
>>
>>I cannot beleive the way the evening went, first I had my handicapped
>>sister and I was trying to bath her, she is 140, and I weigh 97 now, she
>>is rough, then her and I came out to the kitchen, and my son went out to
>>light the gas grill, when he turned it on and hit the switch, I looked
>>out and I saw a huge ball of yellow, and he yelled, and he could not
>>see, it happened so fast I did not know what happened. He was fine, but
>>it had scared him too. Well, since that happened my husband got angry,
>>making fun of me, and out of the blue, I told him I do not love him
>>anymore, and I removed my rings, and told him I do not want them any
>>more. I do not know why I said this, he has shut me off for a few days,
>>but I have kept my dealing with things with me to my self. I would go
>>on forever if I talked about this, but I think the marriage is rocky as
>>hell, and now I am scared, if I lose my husband all I have is dad and my
>>son, his girlfriend who I adore hurt me too! I feel like my life is
>>over, as I type this, THE TEARS WILL NOT DRY, I CANNOT KEEP CRYING LIKE
>>THIS! WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN LIFE GETS TO BE TOO MCH. SOO SCARED!
>>The arguing did not stop most of the night, too long, I am now convinced
>>men do not uderstand!
>>
>>I paged my counselor, and she could not talk and when she called back, I
>>missed hercall. Hate to bother them after hours!
>>
Tina,
Thank you so much for your post, and your caring, I have been so down
lately, and now the pain meds seem nt to help, I have only been taking
them barely a year. Now I have to push my self todo anything, someties
I just get up and down and go from chair to chair, I am getting so
tired. I hope I make the right decision, but first I have to see the
general surgeon, he may not believe in anymore surgery, but the gyn said
he has discussed my case with him.
Love,
Toni