Re: Appearances Can Be Helen

From: Bernie and Beverly Doucette (bnb@cybrzn.com)
Sat Dec 4 15:19:46 1999


Helen.. Can you run that article again or tell us where to find that...I don't think that there is any of us who suffer ARD who have not heard those same words, " You don't LOOK sick! " It is so surreal to hear that and the same for this onr, " Your tests are negative, NOTHING wrong you you! ".....I think of those very same phrses everytime I think of my adhesiolysis surgery videos where it shows every portion of my intestines intertwined with one another, the right ilium flipped over upside down and crossed over attached to the LEFT peritoneum wall! My intestines where so covered with adhesions they looked like one mass of tissue dropped into a sack of adhesions! They were not even disernable as human intestines...and I heard those very same phrases only a few weeks prior to my surgery!!

So, folks, just because you hear it, and just because people say it and think it....sure doesn't make it fact does it! We know what we feel and what we suffer and THAT is the most important issue for us, that we know! We do not have to prove to anyone, family, friend or DR, that we are in fact suffering...we know, GOD knows and what anyone says doesn't change that fact!

BUT....wether they think we are suffering or not doesn't mean we have to push ourselves to do things we cannot, nor does it mean that we should not be respected by our family, friends and anyone within the medical field!

Anyone wanting a vireo of adhesions to show family and freinds nad even your DR...just let me know and it is yours!! Beverly

>----- Original Message -----
From: Tina Shelby <tshelby@usit.net> To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS <adhesions@talk.obgyn.net> Sent: Saturday, December 04, 1999 1:52 PM Subject: Re: Appearances Can Be Helen

> Rhonda,
>
> Helen Dyna had a web site with articles about just this subject, "You
don't > look sick". It was a very good article. I lost my hard drive so I can't
give > it to you. Maybe she will remember and find it for you.
>
> Tina
>
> At 12:20 PM 12/3/99 -0600, you wrote:
> >Yesterday someone made the comment to me that because I don't look sick,
> >I will have a hard time convincing a doctor that I'm truly in pain and
> >need to have my adhesions dealt with. I do take the time some days to
> >put on make-up because it makes me feel better. I also dress relatively
> >well. I work in a conservative law firm so I can't wear jeans to work.
> >I've been overweight for years so I'm not exactly skin & bones.
> >
> >The person that said this to me said that she can't even tell when I'm
> >in pain. I work very hard to make myself look presentable and I have
> >the "stiff upper lip" mentality so I'm not one to allow casual/business
> >acquaintances to know I'm feeling. Am I to be penalized by the doctors
> >just because I don't look like I'm at death's door and because my manner
> >is almost always sunny? I was raised to never allow my personal feelings
> >to show to anyone other than immediate family.
> >
> >Ordinarily someone else's opinion wouldn't concern me but this person is
> >usually right on the money when it comes to things of this nature. It
> >really bothers me that I'm being judged on this basis.
> >
>


Enter keywords:
Returns per screen: Require all keywords: