I am very sorry you are going through this right now. My gyn who did the last surgery told me to live with the pain because more surgery was not an option. So when I asked her to refill my pain meds she said no. Okay, the doctors want you to live with the pain but give you no way to do so. I think they must have a screw loose. She was in my abdomen, saw the mess, the fluid filled cyst that was bigger than a grapefruit and wanted me to live with it. I wanted to ask her if she could function everyday like this.
I am fortunate enough to have a very good PCP who said she does not agree that I can live with this situation. She has ordered my pain meds without question. She has filled out leave forms for work without question. She has referred me to a counselor to deal with the depression. I only wish you lived in my city so that you could go to her. She is a rare find.
I hope that the understanding from everyone here will help you get through this. I have had some dark days too, and it really helped reading the messages on this forum late at night when I couldn't sleep. Just remember that you are a very important person to a lot of people. You are justified in feeling that you deserve to live without pain. You are paying these doctors to help you. I hope that you can get into a pain clinic or another doctor who is understanding of this condition. I didn't think that I could swing going to Scranton either, but after begging, borrowing, and stealing(not really, but I thought about it) it has become a reality.
I wish you well,
kathy l
At Mon, 6 Nov 2000, Susan_OR wrote:
>
>Hi Everyone...
>
>I feel so alone and confused and desperate...I don't even know where to
>turn or what to do. I have decided that I am done with my doctor and I
>won't be going back. I don't think I'm going back to my gyn either...so
>now I get to go thru the fun experience of finding new docs. I went
>today and my doc prescribed Neurontin (has anyone tried this and what
>did you think?) and then told me how it would most likely take a long
>time to work, if it helped at all. So, of course, like anyone in pain
>would...I asked her to refill my pain meds while we were waiting for
>this to work. Can you already guess what the answer was? No...that's
>it...just no. I asked her what I was supposed to do then...just suffer?
>And she just looked at me like I had 3 heads. Dammit, I'm not a druggie
>and I'm not crazy....I'm in PAIN! She said I am just too young to be on
>pain meds all the time and that I have already been on them for 6 months
>so she couldn't refill it. Like I want to be on them?!? I'm still in
>pain and if they could offer me any other solution I would gladly stop
>taking the pain meds, but that is the ONLY thing that helps at all. She
>said, "honestly, I don't really think anything is going to significantly
>help you and Dr. Peterson (my gyn) concurs". Ok, so what are they
>doing? Humoring me? What the heck (not my first choice of words I should
>say) are they doing and why am I paying them? I'm done with them. I've
>only got 6 pain pills left so it's going to be getting real tough in the
>next day or so. If I am too young to be on pain meds then I am too
>young to just accept that I will be in this awful pain forever....I
>can't just accept that. I just can't.
>
>I have thought about Scranton, but honestly, I don't know how we'd swing
>the cost. Germany is a thought...but that just scares me to go so far
>away. So, I'm still trying to grasp onto life savers closer to home.
>I've been in contact with a Dr. Jerry Perez down in California in the
>Bay area. I'm hoping he might be able to help. At least with the
>lymphatic cyst, if not the adhesions. For right now, tomorrow...I've
>got to find a doctor who will treat this pain. It is getting to the
>point that I can't stand it one more second....let alone weeks. They
>are going to find me holed up in some dark, dingy hole playing with
>voodoo dolls in little white coats. Wouldn't that be fun?!? LOLLOL I'm
>completely joking, of course! Just had to get that out. I really am
>getting desperate. There just has to be a way to get relief.
>
>I'm praying for everyone who is off on their journey to wellness....
>
>Hugs,
>Susan