At Mon, 22 Jan 2001, Pascale Vlaun wrote:
>
>Hello,
>
>I have been busy the whole of last week to get my medical reports ready
>and I send an informative e-mail to Dr Korell in Germany, I am still
>waiting for his reply.
>I got everything in order with the insurance company, thank God for
>that, because I would not have been able to pay for this myself.
>But the weird thing is, now that I got a little hope for a better
>future, I am scared !
>Scared to go, scared for my future and scared for another surgery;all
>past surgeries ended up in complications and more surgeries.
>My GYN in StMaarten and in Holland both think that a laparoscopy is not
>possible by me because of the massive adhesions on the abdominal wall.
>I am actually thinking of backing out and just learn to live with the
>pain.
>And that pain is getting more severe every day, my painmedication is so
>high right now (with still little relief )that I am walking around the
>whole day as if I am high on drugs.
>I know I would not be able to life like this much longer, but I am so
>scared of what will happen.
>And nobody around me seems to understand that !
>Everybody tells me to go for it and to have faith, and I just don't know
>anymore.
>
>I just needed to get this out !
>
>With all my love and friendship,
>Pascale Vlaun
>St Maarten