Re: I need to have a crying party.......- For Those Who Feel Like a Burden -

From: J.J. (
Thu Mar 22 08:02:14 2001

Hey girl,

I don't have a significant other, but I know what it's like to be a burden. When I underwent surgery for endometriosis and adhesiolysis a year ago, my parents did everything in their power to take care of me. The thing is, my mom was dying of cancer at the time, and needless to say, I was miserable that SHE was the one taking care of ME, not the other way around.

I'm on my own now, and even though it's tough to go through this alone, I don't have the 'burden' element weighing on my conscience. This approach is the wrong one to take, however.

Our relatives and spouses often get as frustrated as we do. In many cases, it's harder for the patient's family to deal with the situation than it is for the patient. It may manifest itself by the family criticizing the patient for not being able to perform their duties. It's not that the family is frustrated that things aren't getting done; they're upset because of the reason behind it (the patient being in so much pain they can't live a normal life).

My little thesis may not be of much help when it comes to dealing with this problem, and I certainly don't mean to defend the spouses/family members who truly mistreat patients. But I hope to shed some light on the emotional turmoil that both sides face when faced with such a daunting medical dilemma.

~ J.J. "Been There, Done That" Riggs ~

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