To Jean Re: Jokes/Sally

From: BethC (bcann@hotmail.com)
Sat Mar 2 11:36:40 2002


Hi Jean

It was so good to read your POSITIVE post. It is so true what you said about being around positive people. I feel like I have had a breakthough the last few weeks with just an ATITIUDE Change. I still have pain, but mentally am feeling more alive. I noticed when I was around negative people, getting into negative thinking, always thinking about my pain, I was miserable. I am trying to stay around positive people now. I have friends who I know will always make me laugh and I call them more often now. I have found when I am talking and laughing, I am not thinking about how much I am hurting. It is really a sustained effort to keep out of the negativity, but the work has such a great pay-off.

I have also found that reaching out to people who are less fortunate than me, some have terminal illness, and helping them, it also "gets me outside of myself". I have what may be terminal pain, however, as long as I am diligent about certain things like my bowels, this isn't a thing that will kill me any time soon if ever. I have to remember to be GRATEFUL. I really am lucky to be alive. Reminding myself of all the things I have to be grateful for on a daily basis is like an extra pain med a day. I wish I could say I am success with this attitude every day, but I am working on it. I don't need to be perfect, just practice, and that's okay today.

Thanks Again for the Love & Comfort & support I continue to find on this board.

Beth C

At Sat, 2 Mar 2002, Jean Long wrote: >
>Heck, I'm a blonde (well, not really) and I send dumb blonde jokes all the
>time, and even to my friends who are true blondes.
>It is just funny, not meant literally to be abusive or damaging to anyone's
>ego. If they are true friends they would know this and not take it any other
>way. If I have to pick and choose what I say or send someone then they are
>not "true" friends.
>It can be a joke about something pertaining to women in general or even
>myself, but when in the form of a joke I don't take it personally.
>I agree the board shouldn't be piled full of jokes but a funny joke from
>time to time never hurts.
>There are many jokes and they all have to pertain to someone or something in
>order to be made into a joke..... whether it is about children, women,
>teenagers, men, animals, etc.
>
>Too many people take life way too seriously, therefore missing out on the
>good things in life.
>I think it is terrible that in society now-a-days you have to weigh every
>word you say every time you open your mouth or someone is coming down on
>you!
>I for one use to be someone very care-free and laughed and joked allot, and
>didn't really even need a reason.
>I could just make something funny out of nothing at all.
>
>For many years now negative minded people where I live have stripped that
>part away from me, and to tell you the truth I really miss ME.
>I live in a very negative minded, uncompassionate, self-centered community
>who don't do much of anything just for laughs.
>People in my area are noted for being very "hard" and "cold".
>I am finally actually considering relocating in an effort to see if that
>helps my well-being and enables me to feel like laughing again like I use
>to, if I still remember how. I have lived here for 31 years and that has
>been way too long, and still not use to the people and have accumulated very
>few "good" friends.
>
>I sure hope the whole world hasn't changed that much and it isn't just my
>area. So much negativity on the board does make me scared that the whole
>world could have changed that much.
>
>I need to be around happy compassionate people who also have compassion and
>an understanding when someone has problems.
>If I am lucky I hope to find some new friends who care about people through
>good and bad times, through sickness and health, rich or poor.
>I have had MANY medical problems to deal with for many many years and some
>understanding, compassion, happiness and laughter sure would help me through
>these times.
>
>Sorry I got a bit carried away with my feelings and this got longer than
>intended.
>JEAN
>
>A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to
>you
>when you have forgotten the words.
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: adhesions@adhesions.org [mailto:adhesions@adhesions.org]On Behalf
>Of Sally Grigg
>Sent: Friday, March 01, 2002 10:05 PM
>To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
>Subject: Jokes/Sally
>
>To all of you following the "debate" about jokes. Our lives are filled with
>pain and suffering. Jokes by their very nature are immature, frivolous,"
>semi
>off color", and that's just the way they are. This board can accommodate all
>sorts of awful descriptions of our physical ailments. It ought to be able to
>handle a few jokes to cheer us up. I for one love the jokes. If they offend
>someone, I'm sorry. Sometimes, there are one or two that offend me, but I
>just ignore them. I have never seen a joke that is racist or bigoted or very
>off-color, or filled with vulgar words or mention vulgar acts.
>
>There are lots of times when we, as women, have to endure things from
>society because it is only recently that we have become full citizens. It we
>take out our hostility about this situation in joke form, I'm sorry that a
>man or two is offended, but I'm offended that I didn't get the vote until 80
>years ago, or that I couldn't own property for a long time, etc. It's time
>to let all that go. I'm still offended that when my husband and I go to the
>doctor about my medical problems that the doctor talks to my husband and not
>me. But I wind up getting what I want, so in a sense I'm using the system.
>
>Since the jokes make me laugh and they don't make certain other people
>laugh, perhaps, I can still read them and laugh and feel better and the
>other person can skip the things labeled jokes. Would you like to deny me
>the right to our jokes, which help my pain go away. And please don't answer
>that they have no place on the board, these people are my friends, and if
>they want to write good or bad jokes, its okay with me. I'll defend them for
>doing it. If it helps one of us forget our pain even for five minutes, its
>worth it.
>
>Some of the jokes do show a slight tendency towards hostility towards men,
>but we are getting better. Time will heal the wounds inflicted on us by
>society.
>
>You probably will still disagree. I'm sorry. Wirth kindest regards, Sally

--
Not Alone Anymore...

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