Re: A little more venting

From: K Nygren (ifirgit@yahoo.com)
Tue Dec 24 00:07:11 2002


Thankfully, my daughter is a neat freak...although when she is in depression periods she gets sloppy. But, she also likes to call me and ask me to come over and help her clean. I had an awful Thanksgiving because of it. I was to go to my daughter's for Thanksgiving. The day before I had to have my nephrostomy tubes replaced. This is a surgical procedure and on this day I opted to have NO pain medication or versed because my mom had to get back home for her radiation treatment and if I had pain meds I would have to go to the recovery room and we didn't have time. I had told my daughter that I would help her as best I could. I folded all of her laundry, cleaned her living room, and did the dishes. By then I was exhausted and laid down on the sofa and fell asleep. She threw an absolute fit. Said I was lazy and that if I couldn't help I could leave. My daughter has no compassion or understanding of my illness. All she has is anger because I was sick all of her life. Anyways, I ended up leaving very upset. She had made comments about how I would just run to my sister's and use her (by my eating there). This is her way of controlling the situation, but I just wasn't going to prove her right. I spent most of the day sleeping as I wasn't feeling well, but finally my mom convinced me that I shouldn't allow her to ruin the day for me. I ended up not talking to her for a week. She ended up calling me out in Oregon and acted like nothing had ever happened. Today my sister offered me a room in her house. If things continue the way they are here I will leave. I don't like jumping from place to place. I wish I had kept my old apartment in the senior citizens building. While I felt like an outsider amongst all of the older people, I had my own place that was at least a ways away from both my daughter and my mother. I just don't know. Financially, I can't afford to be on my own. Physically, I can't be by myself. But, I need my own independence. The room at my sister's has room for both a sleeping area and a tv area. Other than eating I could spend all of my time in my room. But, I just don't know if that is the answer. I don't want to have to ask if my family can come visit. My sister's friend doesn't want people around a lot. I guess things will just have to be worked out together in advance. Lots of thinking to do. "Jean (from PA)" <creative@enter.net> wrote:On the other hand MY adult kids gripe about me because they say that I am too "fussy" and too "clean"! I always thought they should be proud of me for it!

My daughter is the slob, and she thinks I'm the abnormal one! Funny how things work. At one time I had even offered my daughter our one house to rent $200 cheaper than we rent to other people and she refused, because she said I would expect her to clean it. It was probably the best thing for us anyway but I tried to help her.

I'm with you guys, I like a tidy and clean house, and that is also santitary not only for appearances.

We also worked hard for what we have and want to keep it in good shape since we can't afford to be replacing things all the time just because we were too lazy to clean it. Dust and dirt does eventually turn into embedded stains. We didn't have much when we were young and never had things handed to us as allot do today. I think that also makes the difference in how you care for and appreciate it.

Just had to mention my totally opposite problems.

--
Jean (from PA)

Karla

**Soaring with my angel**

http://www.geocities.com/karlasfamily2001 http://www.geocities.com/princessd82000/BraydensHaven


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