I know exactly what you are talking about. I lost my job because of
this illness also. I sit at home and feel like I want to die too
sometimes. But we must hold tight and trust that someday God will find
an answer to this problem. Me too I feel like I am a burden on my
family sometimes. Sometimes I think I could just take a knife from the
kitchen drawer and remove those succors myself. I hate not working I
need my work to help me financially and emotionally.But the pain has won
I can't do my own house work anymore. I have my husband and kids
mopping ,washing my automobile and all I do is cook and then sometimes I
can't get out of bed to do that either.I have always been a person with
lots of ambition and ran this entire house while my husband worked out
of town but now He had to find a job close by so I can call him to be
here for me. But it also entailed this smaller salary and that has been
very difficult. Sometimes we run very short of funds. But Somehow God
blesses us and we keep going. I am more fortunate to have my hubby to
support me. So I try not to be depressed too much. What state do you
live in? You need to write to your state Representative to ask them to
get your state to recognize ARDS. I did that ,I accomplished that much
for the State of Louisiana. I thought it would have been difficult but
I gathered my info and brought it to her and we sat and I explained my
condition and she took it to the legislature and it passed. Thank God
for that. so give that a try I took the Connections Booklet from David
Wiseman IAS and A copy of the New York State Recognition and sat and
talked to her briefly about it>not to take too much of her time I told
her to read the booklet and let me hear from her.ANd a month later it
was done. But HAng in there lady cause we all here too waiting and
hoping. God Bless you and take care of you .
Lillian
>It seems to be getting more difficult to work at my job now.I just
>finished seeing my pain dr who put me on demerol for the pain.But I
>don't like being on pain medication of any kind unless I am in serious
>pain. I just had my 10th surgery and lost 4 pints of blood in less than
>30 minutes. I am so scared now, because this pain is not going away and
>I am too afraid that I may lose my job. I have been taking care of my
>mother who's health is not good and have been helping her out the best
>that I can under the circumstances.I love my job and my company knows
>the disease that I have. I am under FMLA intermittinly only.It last for
>only 3 mos at a time. So everytime my FMLA is going to expire, my
>primary care dr just fills out FMLA forms again.The last surgeon I had
>almost killed me. He did not care if I had lived or died. I know
>eventually I'll have to have surgery again soon, but I am trying to put
>it off so that I can finish my bankrupcty with my attorney. I sometimes
>wish I would die on the operating table so that I wouldn't have to put
>so much pressure on my mom and sis. I just hate putting them thru this
>all the time. I have my good days and more often lately bad days. I
>know in my heart that this last surgeon made a horrible mistake on me to
>which I have to live with for the rest of my life. I even have pictures
>to prove he wronged me. I am so grateful for finding this site and I
>pray for each and every sufferer with ARD. I can't afford to go to
>Germany for surgery, but God has helped me along the way. Please pray
>for me.
>Thanks
>Dalene