At the end of my rope
From: Christina Brown (molleebrown@verizon.net)
Thu Jan 27 16:29:17 2005
I have had as many others here multiple operations.
27 to be exact.
Most all laporoscopies, starting at age 15, I am now
36 I suffered from Endo, and ovarian cysts the size
of grapefruits throughout my teens, and twenties.
Finally even though I desperately wanted more children,
(thank God for my 13yr old son who was the happiest
accident I ever had) I opted for a total hysterectomy.
Other than the hormone difficulties I was never sorry
I made that decision, and I had a good 5years or so
virtually pain free.
After the 5 years though, the pain returned. I had
a laparoscopy by a OB-GYN, he found my bladder and
colon stuck together, as well as other adhesions
that has caused my pain. When I woke in the recovery
room, I could immediately tell that they had addressed
and fixed the problem.
Once again I found relief for about another 2 years.
After the 2 years my symptoms returned more intensly
than ever.
Accompanied by constant diahrea which I had never
had before. I had a steady background pain at all
times. But topped off with frequent attacks of
VIOLENT diahrea with spasming that was in my opinion
worse than childbirth. I can't tell you how many
times I have fainted and fallen off the toilet, its
a miracle I have never cracked my skull. My husband
is the most loving and understanding man in the world.
I can tell you flowers and candy is one thing, but
when you wake up to your spouse wiping your bum for
you, that is true love.
So this syndrome of abdominal pain and gastro
attacks has been going on constantly for about
4 years now. I saw Gastro specialist had 2
colonoscopies and was told...GUESS WHAT????
Irritable bowel syndrome. I swear thats everyones
favorite diagnosis when they can't easily see what
is wrong. Anyway finally I consulted the same
OB-GYN who did my last cleanup job, and he scheduled
me for surgery last May. Prior to that surgery though
I had another of my gastro attacks that was so painful
I couldn't bear it. My husband took me to the ER,
and they discovered a bowel obstruction. So I had
to have emergency surgery performed by their on call
general surgeon. He opted for a laparotomy, he cut
a 8 inch incision vertically stretching from below
my pubic bone to my belly button. He supposedly
cleaned up scar tissue and fixed my bowel obstruction,
but this did not resolve my pain or problems at all.
Additionally I had a horrific post op incisional infection
that took over a month to get over. IT was an abscess
leaking gallons and gallons LITERALLY of puss. My incision
split open 3 different times, and all I was told to do is
pack it with gauze and let it heal from the inside out.
It did eventually close, but it took around 3 months and
left me with some really scarey and ugly scars.
Okay..so thats my background NOW.... Ever since that
surgery last May 2004, I have not had one moment of peace.
I am in constant pain, I still have the unexplained gastro
attacks, and nobody is willing to treat me any longer. I
ended up being sent to a pain managment clinic, and they
put me on Methadone. Lord I wish someone would have given
me a bit of a warning about the severity of that drug.
I was on state assisted insurance because I haven't been
able to work for over 3yrs due to all this crap, but they
changed the income requirements and I got kicked off last
October. Since then I have been seeing just a genereal
Practitioner and paying out of pocket. She has been keeping
me on the methadone, however recently for no reason she decided
it isn't working, and she doesn't want me to be a drug
addict..So she just cut me off. No weaning, no reason
she just doesn't think it is helping me. So I have spent
the past 5 days in the worst withdrawal hell I could ever
imagine.
It got so bad that my husband once again had to scrape
me off the bathroom floor and take me to the ER. They
were all sympathetic and willing to help me, then went
and called my doctor and whatever she told them the ER
doc came back..and said NO NARCOTICS, you are just
going to have to deal with it. She then just released
me. I AM NOT A DRUG ADDICT! I have never broken any
directions given to me by the doctors, in regards to
pain meds nothing. I just don't understand what happened
to suddenly make her just drop me like that. Talk about
inhumane. Out of sheer desperation I let the hospital
social worker set me up with an appt with a methadone
clinic. I just don't know if that is the right thing
to do though. Isn't that for Heroin addicts? Is it
possible that somehow they think I am a heroin addict
and I am hiding it? I am so confused and desperate
and in so much pain. I honestly wish I could go to
sleep and just not ever wake up. I have no quality
of life, I spend days on end in bed holding my stomach
and weeping. My mother said she would pay for me to
go back to the pain managment people, but I know they
are probably going to treat me the same way. When I
was seen there in the past the doctors were very
harsh and I never had one appt that I didn't leave
crying.
My belief is that this last surgery in May because
is the cause of my pain. As I said I had a huge
incision, and the physician said he pulled my
intestines out and handled them all..to check for
anymore blockages.
And as I mentioned the horrific infection, couldn't
all of those circumstances cause alot of adhesions?
Anyone who has had similar experiences that might be
willing to share..Would be very appreciated.
God bless to all who are going through this. I
know how you feel. Love, and Prayers to all ~Chrissy
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