When I was in the hospital having major surgery when they were kids they didn't even want to come and see me, my husband had to make them. They made the comment "she's always sick!". Sad to say, but to this day they have no sympathy for me and they are almost 31 and 35 years old.
Last year I had 2 major hip replacements on the same leg within 11 weeks and was in nursing homes and hospitals for 8 weeks and yet I was told "I only think about myself", after-all his wife just had a baby and was in pain". I was still on a morphine pump and totally out of it when she had the baby so I was a bad mom & grandmother. I also had 2 other surgeries in that 10 month period of time and still am not fixed. So.......Mom's "still" always sick.
I did take my kids to the shore every year and amusement Parks, animal preserves, played games with them every Sunday. No, I couldn't run or play ball with them because I was crippled as a kid and NEVER could do those things. They had everything they could want even genuine arcade full-size pinball machines etc. but it made no difference to them. I made them big meals every night, cleaned my house and they always had nice and clean clothing. I even made them clothing for several years. BUT.....I was still always sick and now even more-so! Now I can't even carry or play with the grand-kids and holding them also hurts my leg, plus they don't want that anymore.
I wish I had advise or words of comfort for you but I haven't figured out where I went wrong so I can't give anyone else advise.
Take care and don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing the best you can! JEAN
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
-----Original Message----- From: adhesions@adhesions.org [mailto:adhesions@adhesions.org]On Behalf Of Kelley L Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2001 11:34 PM To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS Subject: Need some advise!
Hi everyone! I haven't written for a few days now, as I have been having a pretty hard time. Sunday and Monday weren't bad..about a 4 I guess....until around 12 or 1 (which is normal for me) and then I was up to a 6-8. Laid down most of the two afternoons. Today, has been around 9-10....Pretty bad day! I am almost out of pain meds, which causes a lot of anxiety! I called the Dr.'s office yesterday and today, for a refill.....but nothing yet...Guess I'll have to call tomorrow too! Either that, or I will call my GP here in town. I have a question......Does anyone else have teenagers? My son is either SPOILED WROTTEN! Or he's really mad about my being sick. He said something today about the fact that I can't hold a job for more then two months, (I was laid off Sept. 29 from a job I had for 1 1/2 years and began a temp job on Oct. 3..Job ended last week)....I asked him what the heck he meant by that and he said that as a "Parent" I wasn't doing a very good job cuz I can't hold a job and I am sick all of the time any way and we can never do anything but stay home and watch TV and play cards together......That hurt my feelings SOOO bad! When I asked him if he really thought I was a bad parent, he said he was trying to make a point....but couldn't explain what the point was. Before he said this, we were discussing the fact that he hasn't been doing his chores, but yet still goes to Basketball practice etc......I dont know! I feel bad enough, being sick and not being able to do much with him....Money is somewhat of a concern too....Though as I pointed out to him....He has a home, electricity, cable tv, school cloths, money for lunch every stinckin day...... Am I just being overly senstitive? Is he just venting his own feelings about this stinkin disease? PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND AND LEARN HOW TO HELP HIM DEAL WITH THIS! I truely don't know how to handle this one! I'm so thankful that IAS is here! You have all helped me through the last week in more ways than I can put into words! Kelley